never in my life i've encountered this before.
for the first time, i'm scared of stepping into the class.
i have phobia.
i can't concentrate well and i feel nauseated.
i know anytime i might collapse.
not a fun thing being marked by teacher.
i sleep for 2 hours per day.
no matter how much i studied, she'll still fail me.
others can't answer, they could still pass.
lost of appetite, had nightmares whenever i close my eyes.
i'm like a zombie now.
what's more, weather is unbearable.
two near death experiences in a day, almost got hit by cars while crossing the road.
text book is all wet due to accidental pouring of aromatic oil+ water while trying to destress myself.
have to break my promise for the things i promised to do.
bad things do come in a bunch.
AM ALL STRESSED UP.
gotta pull myself back.
miracles needed. desperately.
guess this is the only solution.
PLEASE WOULD ANYONE JUST PRAY FOR ME?
i just wanna get out of this cycle. ALIVE.
Thursday, December 2, 2010
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
i still have to go on.
and after 5 years of studying in this fucking country, i'm still doubting myself on whether i've made the right choice.
i can't believe it either.
if i'd chose to go australia, probably i'm an aussie PR now.
but still, i have to go on. for my dream's sake.
i hate being treated like a school kid.
obviously this isn't the right type of stress you're giving us.
i don't need all these craps to be perfect.
it's either stress will push you forward, or it'll make you fall. and the latter is what i'm having right now.
i can't believe it either.
if i'd chose to go australia, probably i'm an aussie PR now.
but still, i have to go on. for my dream's sake.
i hate being treated like a school kid.
obviously this isn't the right type of stress you're giving us.
i don't need all these craps to be perfect.
it's either stress will push you forward, or it'll make you fall. and the latter is what i'm having right now.
Monday, November 29, 2010
stressed
getting a fucked up therapy teacher is 100000x worse than having a hemorrhoid. a real pain in the ass.
signs of me getting tensed up?
pimples popping out, more restless than ever, pulling a long face, worst part is, am having gastric pain now!
mannnnn i'm falling.
and 'cause of this, am so reluctant to go class, for the first time in my life.
i find no joy studying with such fucked up racist.
and 'cause of this, am so reluctant to go class, for the first time in my life.
i find no joy studying with such fucked up racist.
Thursday, November 25, 2010
Monday, November 22, 2010
just when am at my darkest
so..what's happening around me? you must be wondering.
it's true what people say that, too many smooth journeys and wonderful things happen in your life, eventually it'll come to an end, and God's gonna take it all back, and you'll end up crying.
sometimes, i just can't find a better reason to not be angry with God.
all along i thought, i've lost something, i fell, and i've gained a new friend that i could talk things to. he brought me back when i was in my darkest.
and all of a sudden, all i knew was, i was being ignored, isolated for nothing. and the worst thing is, i don;t even know what did i do wrong to make him do this.
till now.
i've been trying to keep cool, make things up by simply talking to him, but to no avail.
thoughts have been running on my mind. and i wonder what really happened.
i seriously been searching for a chance to talk things out, face to face, 'cause i've always hated 'virtual' chatting.
i'm desperate to talk things out 'cause i know this friend isn't worth losing at all!!!
i'm going crazy day by day if this continues, i'm depressed and i've been tempted to even smoke. trying to forget about this.
i am angry and especially hurt at the same time.
some friend knew but chose to just ignore it and went on her with her life maybe?? and didn't even bother to ask what happening between the two of us?
sometimes i do wonder, what's the point of accepting your apology anyway.
i am hurt max 'cause, i always thought i've found a very good friend that can share my thoughts, and i trusted him so much, we even share the same interests, but eventually he chose to just ignore me, thank you that is way too hurtful. and why do you have to break me that way, knowing that there's too many similar things happened in my life.
may be i shouldn't blame too much.
i do think this might be am the one who is at fault. but i need to know what did i do.
i remembered when something happened to me, i keep it all to myself, and you were the one who went confronted me, saying that if i chose not to say out, it's fine but you knew something was wrong. to me this is something forceful. you just want me to say things out.
but now? you're the one who chose to ignore me and keep it all to yourself, is it anyway more fair to me?
i'm lucky enough though, to have my evil twin that could talk things out and to be around with me all this while.also ym for her advice and prayer.
this meant a lot to me.
and because of you girls, i'm still controlling myself from smoking and keep my cool.
it's a blessing in disguise.
it's true what people say that, too many smooth journeys and wonderful things happen in your life, eventually it'll come to an end, and God's gonna take it all back, and you'll end up crying.
sometimes, i just can't find a better reason to not be angry with God.
all along i thought, i've lost something, i fell, and i've gained a new friend that i could talk things to. he brought me back when i was in my darkest.
and all of a sudden, all i knew was, i was being ignored, isolated for nothing. and the worst thing is, i don;t even know what did i do wrong to make him do this.
till now.
i've been trying to keep cool, make things up by simply talking to him, but to no avail.
thoughts have been running on my mind. and i wonder what really happened.
i seriously been searching for a chance to talk things out, face to face, 'cause i've always hated 'virtual' chatting.
i'm desperate to talk things out 'cause i know this friend isn't worth losing at all!!!
i'm going crazy day by day if this continues, i'm depressed and i've been tempted to even smoke. trying to forget about this.
i am angry and especially hurt at the same time.
some friend knew but chose to just ignore it and went on her with her life maybe?? and didn't even bother to ask what happening between the two of us?
sometimes i do wonder, what's the point of accepting your apology anyway.
i am hurt max 'cause, i always thought i've found a very good friend that can share my thoughts, and i trusted him so much, we even share the same interests, but eventually he chose to just ignore me, thank you that is way too hurtful. and why do you have to break me that way, knowing that there's too many similar things happened in my life.
may be i shouldn't blame too much.
i do think this might be am the one who is at fault. but i need to know what did i do.
i remembered when something happened to me, i keep it all to myself, and you were the one who went confronted me, saying that if i chose not to say out, it's fine but you knew something was wrong. to me this is something forceful. you just want me to say things out.
but now? you're the one who chose to ignore me and keep it all to yourself, is it anyway more fair to me?
i'm lucky enough though, to have my evil twin that could talk things out and to be around with me all this while.also ym for her advice and prayer.
this meant a lot to me.
and because of you girls, i'm still controlling myself from smoking and keep my cool.
it's a blessing in disguise.
Sunday, October 3, 2010
13 years after.
have i told you? my first and the last time playing volleyball was during primary school.
i hated it 'cos it's so painful. but come to think of it, i know why i hated the pain so much-----
the smart me actually played volleyball right after the day i took my taekwondo exam, which i accidentally got kicked at the index finger by the kid behind me. so when the ball hit my hand, it got so painful and since then i hated it a lot and i quit playing volleyball.
and after 13 years, i played volleyball yesterday and the feeling was totally different.
i actually like the pain. LOL
and now my hands are all bruised and painful.
liking it though. =D
of course, it's so awesome to sweat all over =D
i hated it 'cos it's so painful. but come to think of it, i know why i hated the pain so much-----
the smart me actually played volleyball right after the day i took my taekwondo exam, which i accidentally got kicked at the index finger by the kid behind me. so when the ball hit my hand, it got so painful and since then i hated it a lot and i quit playing volleyball.
and after 13 years, i played volleyball yesterday and the feeling was totally different.
i actually like the pain. LOL
and now my hands are all bruised and painful.
liking it though. =D
of course, it's so awesome to sweat all over =D
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
september awesomeness
and so......
wonder why i didn't update my blog at all?
i was too busy =D
from classes, to night photoshoot outings, to shoppings, paramedic cases, appreciation dinner, etc.
and RUN MOSCOW!!!
it's happening!! yuppp it is.
by the way, Run Moscow was awesome!!!!!!
didn't run much though, was busy taking pictures with arep. LOL
and check out the free shirt i was wearing! =D
Thursday, September 2, 2010
to a dear friend of mine, David.
hmm honestly, i don't know where i should start from. and i don't know how to tell you about it.
what i'm gonna jot down, it's all from the bottom of my heart.
i know this has been too long, but since i know you'll be reading my blog, i guess i should tell you this before i return to moscow for my studies. and this, would probably be the best way to tell you about it.
thank you for the wonderful hospitality that you and your friends had provided during our stay.
thank you for bringing us around for sightseeing and being our translator around the clock.
and most importantly, thank you for all the wonderful memories.
sorry i might have rejected you in the most cruel way. i'm not good with words.
of course i heard what you've said to me, everything.
i feel touched though, of what you've done. especially the night where you hold my hand under the rain, protecting me from slipping off on the muddy road, knowingly am afraid of the dark.
the sense of security, no other guys have given it to me before.
i felt the same way as how you felt too.
but as we all are mature enough to know that, it's impossible. even the distance speaks for it. and we barely know each other, it's just merely infatuation. it's only that 8 days we got to know each other.
i couldn't find anyway better to tell you this. sorry.
it was God who put us together and get us to know each other. it's not coincidence that bring us together.
hope our friendship will be a lasting one. hoping to see you and the rest in the near future. hoping to see Sian Sian too.
love and light, God bless.
what i'm gonna jot down, it's all from the bottom of my heart.
i know this has been too long, but since i know you'll be reading my blog, i guess i should tell you this before i return to moscow for my studies. and this, would probably be the best way to tell you about it.
thank you for the wonderful hospitality that you and your friends had provided during our stay.
thank you for bringing us around for sightseeing and being our translator around the clock.
and most importantly, thank you for all the wonderful memories.
sorry i might have rejected you in the most cruel way. i'm not good with words.
of course i heard what you've said to me, everything.
i feel touched though, of what you've done. especially the night where you hold my hand under the rain, protecting me from slipping off on the muddy road, knowingly am afraid of the dark.
the sense of security, no other guys have given it to me before.
i felt the same way as how you felt too.
but as we all are mature enough to know that, it's impossible. even the distance speaks for it. and we barely know each other, it's just merely infatuation. it's only that 8 days we got to know each other.
i couldn't find anyway better to tell you this. sorry.
it was God who put us together and get us to know each other. it's not coincidence that bring us together.
hope our friendship will be a lasting one. hoping to see you and the rest in the near future. hoping to see Sian Sian too.
love and light, God bless.
Thursday, August 26, 2010
busy having fun.
and i'm too busy to upload the photos that i've promised to upload. will upload some day or may be you can just jump over to my facebook to have a look.
been busy buying stuff and busy packing.
i'm flying off to TAIWAN tomorrow!!!!
weeee~~~~~
hmm...a busy holiday for the busy monkey =D
am satisfied =)
jealous? =P
Monday, August 16, 2010
cambodia awesomeness
just got back from Cambodia a few days ago. still missing my Cambodian family.
awesome hospitality. awesome people.
they never failed to smile, even in such a harsh condition.
they taught me how to be contented easily.
it's so true that if you're on a right mission at a right country, instead of being a blessing to the people, you are blessed more by them.
it was a wonderful and pleasant trip, i don't know where to start telling my stories.
full of emotions.
pictures captured were wonderful. Cambodians will never shy away from my camera.
and i didn't know, not until now that camera can be a tool for bonding between two strangers.
i've never liked dealing with kids but now i've learnt how to.
ask me which part of the trip i hated most, it would be at the airport where we have to part ways. everyone tried to hold back tears. we know we just couldn't bear to leave each other.
no one knows when is the next time we gonna meet each other. in 1 year? or another 10 years?
the experiences i've got.
from clerking patients, playing with kids, experiencing village life in which electricity and water as the greatest obstacles, 19 people stuffed on a pick up truck, learning khmer language, the numbers of exotic food i've tried, witnessing the procedure of killing a cow, etc.
the best part is the laughters we shared.
language barrier is just a small problem in this trip, there are tons of ways to bond with each another as long as you have the heart to do so.
this trip totally changed my life. it shows me how fortunate i am.
and it also shows me, though it's only a lil' that i can do for them, but if i have the heart to do so, people will still be happy. a tiny help can make a difference.
a picture speaks a thousand words. will try to upload some of the best photos i've taken. soon.
p.s. i just remembered i freaking forgot to bring a stone back for my collection!!!! argghh!
awesome hospitality. awesome people.
they never failed to smile, even in such a harsh condition.
they taught me how to be contented easily.
it's so true that if you're on a right mission at a right country, instead of being a blessing to the people, you are blessed more by them.
it was a wonderful and pleasant trip, i don't know where to start telling my stories.
full of emotions.
pictures captured were wonderful. Cambodians will never shy away from my camera.
and i didn't know, not until now that camera can be a tool for bonding between two strangers.
i've never liked dealing with kids but now i've learnt how to.
ask me which part of the trip i hated most, it would be at the airport where we have to part ways. everyone tried to hold back tears. we know we just couldn't bear to leave each other.
no one knows when is the next time we gonna meet each other. in 1 year? or another 10 years?
the experiences i've got.
from clerking patients, playing with kids, experiencing village life in which electricity and water as the greatest obstacles, 19 people stuffed on a pick up truck, learning khmer language, the numbers of exotic food i've tried, witnessing the procedure of killing a cow, etc.
the best part is the laughters we shared.
language barrier is just a small problem in this trip, there are tons of ways to bond with each another as long as you have the heart to do so.
this trip totally changed my life. it shows me how fortunate i am.
and it also shows me, though it's only a lil' that i can do for them, but if i have the heart to do so, people will still be happy. a tiny help can make a difference.
a picture speaks a thousand words. will try to upload some of the best photos i've taken. soon.
p.s. i just remembered i freaking forgot to bring a stone back for my collection!!!! argghh!
Thursday, August 5, 2010
busy monkey
and so...
here's how busy i am.
a week of KL+Genting, and Cambodia follows on.
currently sitting here at starbucks Genting. spent an hour connecting to their crappy line, and finally! &**&%^%@##^!
been testing my camera. so here goes.
here's how busy i am.
a week of KL+Genting, and Cambodia follows on.
currently sitting here at starbucks Genting. spent an hour connecting to their crappy line, and finally! &**&%^%@##^!
been testing my camera. so here goes.
 |
morning breakfast at pasar besar Seremban |
 |
resting finally after a long trip |
 |
| goodbye Pudu jail. i'm lucky enough to be able to see you one last time. |
 |
pictures taken using wide angle lens low yatt. ken happily waiting for his brand new laptop. midrange 17-50mm f2.8  |
 |
  well, this 35mm dude never fails to produce bokeh.   without her there's no me. yes. this is my mum.   mummy just couldn't stand the two of us.LOL  and finally. this is how a photographer get to shoot herself without anyone's help. =P i fell in love again. i love you, D90. |
Sunday, August 1, 2010
Saturday, July 31, 2010
shopaholic
been such a big spender since i got back to m'sia.
bought a book.
bought new specs.
signed and waiting for my camera to come.
mum doesn't look pleased.
and i'm planning to buy a brand new leather converse.
what's more, more spending to come in Cambodia. may be Taiwan too??
plenty more in my mind that i wanted to buy. sportswear, more books, bags, blah blah, blah blah. the list never ends.
I AM SO DEAD.
bought a book.
bought new specs.
signed and waiting for my camera to come.
mum doesn't look pleased.
and i'm planning to buy a brand new leather converse.
what's more, more spending to come in Cambodia. may be Taiwan too??
plenty more in my mind that i wanted to buy. sportswear, more books, bags, blah blah, blah blah. the list never ends.
I AM SO DEAD.
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
home. doma. love.
one more day to go before leaving to m'sia.
yes. home. sweet home.
i'm fully prepared.
it's gonna be a busy holiday. if everything goes well, estimated that i only have 14 days back in m'sia. so i'm gonna make my holis worthwhile. no nonsense.
i just love to be busy =)
had a second round of shopping yesterday. wooots! feel sooooo good to shop around =D
and thanks Irise for the give away stuff. i almost spent one lum sum on a backpack the next day but thankfully there's a backpack waiting for me to kutip. and Enci's puma bag also. so right now i can at least save some money to buy my camera and lenses.
Arep helped me figure out which lens i should buy and woooooooooooots :D here it goes:
1. 35mm f1.8 nikon lens
2. 17-50mm f2.8 tamron
3. 11-16mm tokina
i hope i hope i hope my mum's not gonna nag at me. i know. i'm gonna spend a FORTUNE on these lenses. BUT I REALLY NEED THESE 3!!!!
anyways. internet's down.
watched 500 days of summer today for the second time.
i like this movie alot. and i like it even more now. probably 'cause i could truely understand it now.
somehow some part of this movie speaks for me. that's what i'm feeling too. cheated? lost? confusion? depressed? whatever~
i'm all free from it now =) i should smile for what had happened =)
had an outing with a friend and we chatted at Dunkin's till midnight.
we came to a conclusion that, one party in each relationship will surely be taken advantage if that party is too considerate, and that party will eventually be the victim. the other will be the one getting off freely without getting hurt.
so what say you? do we need to be selfish or being possessive in order to be secure in a relationship? will we ever be appreciated in being considerate?
too selfish and you'll ruin a relationship, same thing goes to being too considerate too.
guess we couldn't escape this reality.
so anyways, haven't finished packing and yet i'm typing this in my friend's room. later gonna have a final gathering before all part ways.
gonna do some last minute packing later.
yes. home. sweet home.
i'm fully prepared.
it's gonna be a busy holiday. if everything goes well, estimated that i only have 14 days back in m'sia. so i'm gonna make my holis worthwhile. no nonsense.
i just love to be busy =)
had a second round of shopping yesterday. wooots! feel sooooo good to shop around =D
and thanks Irise for the give away stuff. i almost spent one lum sum on a backpack the next day but thankfully there's a backpack waiting for me to kutip. and Enci's puma bag also. so right now i can at least save some money to buy my camera and lenses.
Arep helped me figure out which lens i should buy and woooooooooooots :D here it goes:
1. 35mm f1.8 nikon lens
2. 17-50mm f2.8 tamron
3. 11-16mm tokina
i hope i hope i hope my mum's not gonna nag at me. i know. i'm gonna spend a FORTUNE on these lenses. BUT I REALLY NEED THESE 3!!!!
anyways. internet's down.
watched 500 days of summer today for the second time.
i like this movie alot. and i like it even more now. probably 'cause i could truely understand it now.
somehow some part of this movie speaks for me. that's what i'm feeling too. cheated? lost? confusion? depressed? whatever~
i'm all free from it now =) i should smile for what had happened =)
had an outing with a friend and we chatted at Dunkin's till midnight.
we came to a conclusion that, one party in each relationship will surely be taken advantage if that party is too considerate, and that party will eventually be the victim. the other will be the one getting off freely without getting hurt.
so what say you? do we need to be selfish or being possessive in order to be secure in a relationship? will we ever be appreciated in being considerate?
too selfish and you'll ruin a relationship, same thing goes to being too considerate too.
guess we couldn't escape this reality.
so anyways, haven't finished packing and yet i'm typing this in my friend's room. later gonna have a final gathering before all part ways.
gonna do some last minute packing later.
i just wanna be a baby some times. just wanna be cuddled in the warmth.
Monday, July 19, 2010
fingers crossed
skipped practicals.
chatted with mummy.
and woohooo!!! mummy plans to use up her airasia voucher and decided to go Taiwan!!
i personally prefer Chengdu though. but who cares, as long as i get to tag along =D
keeping my fingers crossed now. nothing bad will happen for this coming summer holidays. no i'm not gonna let anything ruin my holidays!!
i have to plan the trip properly or else my mum's not gonna employ me as a trip planner anymore :S
try imagining......
a week of Cambodia, 3 weeks of M'sia and few days of Taiwan. and traveling around with my new camera. it's gonna be great!!
you are so gonna see me grinning everywhere from now. =D
chatted with mummy.
and woohooo!!! mummy plans to use up her airasia voucher and decided to go Taiwan!!
i personally prefer Chengdu though. but who cares, as long as i get to tag along =D
keeping my fingers crossed now. nothing bad will happen for this coming summer holidays. no i'm not gonna let anything ruin my holidays!!
i have to plan the trip properly or else my mum's not gonna employ me as a trip planner anymore :S
try imagining......
a week of Cambodia, 3 weeks of M'sia and few days of Taiwan. and traveling around with my new camera. it's gonna be great!!
you are so gonna see me grinning everywhere from now. =D
Sunday, July 18, 2010
final letter.
an angel gave me a huge slap on my face yesterday and i'm fully awake now. i'm thankful enough to be able to have friends around me who cares for me.
and yes, not again i'm gonna look back, don't wanna reminisce the past anymore. it's all about moving on now.
i find no point wasting my time away crying for things/person that's not worthy at all. clearly you're not the only one in the world. more are waiting for me. and i believe there's gotta be a better man out there. it's your loss if you don't grab hold of your chance. and i know clearly, I'VE GOT NOTHING TO LOSE.
i'm gonna get rid of you from my life. at this point i guess hating is easier.
i'm gonna tell the whole world that i'm all ready! i've got back my confidence. i've made my decision.
what's true or not, i'll never know. i have doubts in every single words coming out from your mouth and problem lies that my trust for you has already gone. surely i can't be blamed for that. no, i'm not gonna pursue this matter anymore. it's only a waste of time.
maybe i was used as a tool for learning, but me too have learned a lot. no one will ever see my naivete in such case anymore.
love can be selfish and it only applies for both parties. not individually.
and right now i'm gonna tell you, i'm not gonna self destruct.
i'll take back my words.
leave as you wish. no one cares anyway. selfishness wouldn't lead you to anywhere.
i too don't want a selfish friend.
'' love isn't measured by how many croissants you get''
period.
and yes, not again i'm gonna look back, don't wanna reminisce the past anymore. it's all about moving on now.
i find no point wasting my time away crying for things/person that's not worthy at all. clearly you're not the only one in the world. more are waiting for me. and i believe there's gotta be a better man out there. it's your loss if you don't grab hold of your chance. and i know clearly, I'VE GOT NOTHING TO LOSE.
i'm gonna get rid of you from my life. at this point i guess hating is easier.
i'm gonna tell the whole world that i'm all ready! i've got back my confidence. i've made my decision.
what's true or not, i'll never know. i have doubts in every single words coming out from your mouth and problem lies that my trust for you has already gone. surely i can't be blamed for that. no, i'm not gonna pursue this matter anymore. it's only a waste of time.
maybe i was used as a tool for learning, but me too have learned a lot. no one will ever see my naivete in such case anymore.
love can be selfish and it only applies for both parties. not individually.
and right now i'm gonna tell you, i'm not gonna self destruct.
i'll take back my words.
leave as you wish. no one cares anyway. selfishness wouldn't lead you to anywhere.
i too don't want a selfish friend.
'' love isn't measured by how many croissants you get''
period.
Saturday, July 17, 2010
destress
SHOPPING
yes. it can never go wrong. shopping is the best medicine.
felt better after spending on some stuff.
it heals my heart, at least for time being.
it heals my heart, at least for time being.
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
goodbye world.
can you just please leave me alone?
i'm not in the mood of doing anything. not for practicals, not for BBQ, not for leadership meetings, not for video sessions, not even for any leadings. and yes, i failed to be a leader.
and how am i suppose to lead others when i'm in a mess now?
please let me rest for awhile.
i'm not in the mood for anything.
i'm not even prepared to go back to m'sia.
i'm not in the mood of doing anything. not for practicals, not for BBQ, not for leadership meetings, not for video sessions, not even for any leadings. and yes, i failed to be a leader.
and how am i suppose to lead others when i'm in a mess now?
please let me rest for awhile.
i'm not in the mood for anything.
i'm not even prepared to go back to m'sia.
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
tired
dear God, i know i'm asking too much but please, can You just please clear my mind?
let me be happy. for real.
let me be happy. for real.
Monday, July 12, 2010
octopaul
and so spain won this year's world cup. just as i expected.
gonna spare you this time octopus paul. at least you predicted correctly for spain.
this match is supposed to be germany's though :(
gonna spare you this time octopus paul. at least you predicted correctly for spain.
this match is supposed to be germany's though :(
Friday, July 9, 2010
you effing racist piece of shit!
okay since it's a good day to update my blog & since i-wave isn't going crazy,
i'm gonna say this to you. COULD YOU JUST STOP BEING RACIST?!
hey c'mon lar...we malaysians have been staying together for the past decades. we learn from histories. yes it's true we might encounter something unpleasant every now and then, it's like bread and butter in our lives, that's just minority, there could have been a few troublemakers, and screw that government of ours, and that i could say it's all in us m'sians, we are being taught to hate each other when we were young, whether from peers, teachers or even family members. but at the end of the day, we as the younger generation of m'sians, you're the one to decide to whether to live in harmony or not.
i wouldn't deny, that i myself had encountered a few cases of racism in m'sia, but isn't that part of our lives in m'sia already?
well malays doing it to chinese or indians, chinese doing it to malays and indians, indians doing it to malays, to chinese blah blah, it's like going around the circle!!!
i thank God i wasn't brought up this way. i've got the most open minded parents ever.
i thank God i wasn't born to be a pro-cina even though i came from a chinese school.
i thank God that my mum insists on sending me to a national school instead of further chinese high, so that i could mix with other races.
if people are doing things to you and you don't like it, don't do the same thing to them.
LET ALONE YOU'RE A LEADER!!!
do you know you just blurted out a very sensitive issue in front of your followers?
you're instilling a different mindset onto them. you're instilling hatred.
call yourself a christian.
no wonder people hates MF.
you just spoiled my day of listening to your speeches.
i mix around. my groupmates are mostly malays and one indian with few chinese.
i don't find it hard mixing with them. they are not biased against us as well. we even had outings.
i find that, we are a bunch of m'sians, it's nice to hang out with one another.
there might be language and cultural differences. but that's not the major issue to set us apart!!!!
i had enough of racisms here, the way how russians treated us.
but please as MALAYSIANS, can't we just stay close to one another?!
well i don't know whether i'm in a position to tell you about this or not, i'm just a nobody.
i wanted so much to actually tell you this in person though.
i'm gonna say this to you. COULD YOU JUST STOP BEING RACIST?!
hey c'mon lar...we malaysians have been staying together for the past decades. we learn from histories. yes it's true we might encounter something unpleasant every now and then, it's like bread and butter in our lives, that's just minority, there could have been a few troublemakers, and screw that government of ours, and that i could say it's all in us m'sians, we are being taught to hate each other when we were young, whether from peers, teachers or even family members. but at the end of the day, we as the younger generation of m'sians, you're the one to decide to whether to live in harmony or not.
i wouldn't deny, that i myself had encountered a few cases of racism in m'sia, but isn't that part of our lives in m'sia already?
well malays doing it to chinese or indians, chinese doing it to malays and indians, indians doing it to malays, to chinese blah blah, it's like going around the circle!!!
i thank God i wasn't brought up this way. i've got the most open minded parents ever.
i thank God i wasn't born to be a pro-cina even though i came from a chinese school.
i thank God that my mum insists on sending me to a national school instead of further chinese high, so that i could mix with other races.
if people are doing things to you and you don't like it, don't do the same thing to them.
LET ALONE YOU'RE A LEADER!!!
do you know you just blurted out a very sensitive issue in front of your followers?
you're instilling a different mindset onto them. you're instilling hatred.
call yourself a christian.
no wonder people hates MF.
you just spoiled my day of listening to your speeches.
i mix around. my groupmates are mostly malays and one indian with few chinese.
i don't find it hard mixing with them. they are not biased against us as well. we even had outings.
i find that, we are a bunch of m'sians, it's nice to hang out with one another.
there might be language and cultural differences. but that's not the major issue to set us apart!!!!
i had enough of racisms here, the way how russians treated us.
but please as MALAYSIANS, can't we just stay close to one another?!
well i don't know whether i'm in a position to tell you about this or not, i'm just a nobody.
i wanted so much to actually tell you this in person though.
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
summer rain
went strolling deep in the forest and almost got lost in it. but thank God it didn't rain, not until i found my way out. how i did it? thanks to the sun for the direction.
feeling good and healthy for these few days as i get to go out a lot.
and so once again, i'm tanned. gonna get lotsa naggin' from my parents when i'm back in m'sia.
practicals are BORING. eff you MMC. don't blame me for being a bad doctor next time.
feeling good and healthy for these few days as i get to go out a lot.
and so once again, i'm tanned. gonna get lotsa naggin' from my parents when i'm back in m'sia.
practicals are BORING. eff you MMC. don't blame me for being a bad doctor next time.
Thursday, July 1, 2010
hello??!!
truly honored to be able to help out for this year's graduation ceremony. by far the best graduation ceremony. good job to all the 6th years who organized it. all the best in your future undertakings. gonna miss some of the seniors that i get to know.
i had a great day but my jolly mood was spoiled when i got back to the hostel for seeing what i do not wish to see. is it coincidence or is it on purpose? that i don't know. but all i know is i am once again invisible!!! as though i don't exist at all!!! i seriously do not know how to react when i reached my room, whether to shout in frustrations, to cry, or to laugh out loud! ok, i admit i was jealous for what i saw. you never did that to me. dah lar i was so tired that day!!!
but really, besides jealousy, i'm fed up with this kind of treatment from so called friends too.
all i know is, i don't see friends ever treated friends that way before. friends don't just part ways without a single word uttered. not at least a bye?? wth.
remember how you actually asked me to make friends with your friends even though you know i'm segan with them? and this, clearly shows i'm not a friend at all, because you do understand what's the meaning of being friends and who are they. i felt so unappreciated, from being just friend or used to be more than that. funny thing is, there's a funny way of communication between us, by only through my blog to know about my life and what i'm thinking. is this really the way of a friendship will be?
talk about promises.
you blamed me for not being there when you needed me. now that you don't need me anymore and you have all the attention you want from another person, can i blame you back for hurting me this way? it's not just you alone. i did not say anything doesn't mean that i'm doing well. i understand you both are treating me this way for a reason but have you thought about how i feel?
i had the urge to call you yesterday just to hear your voice, but i guess i don't need to anymore. may be i should stop crying for now. i guess it's not worth anymore. you've hurt me enough and i'm gonna stop you from doing that to me.
oh well, at the end of the day, i know i'm in no position to tell you what you should or should not do. so everything's up to you then.
i had a great day but my jolly mood was spoiled when i got back to the hostel for seeing what i do not wish to see. is it coincidence or is it on purpose? that i don't know. but all i know is i am once again invisible!!! as though i don't exist at all!!! i seriously do not know how to react when i reached my room, whether to shout in frustrations, to cry, or to laugh out loud! ok, i admit i was jealous for what i saw. you never did that to me. dah lar i was so tired that day!!!
but really, besides jealousy, i'm fed up with this kind of treatment from so called friends too.
all i know is, i don't see friends ever treated friends that way before. friends don't just part ways without a single word uttered. not at least a bye?? wth.
remember how you actually asked me to make friends with your friends even though you know i'm segan with them? and this, clearly shows i'm not a friend at all, because you do understand what's the meaning of being friends and who are they. i felt so unappreciated, from being just friend or used to be more than that. funny thing is, there's a funny way of communication between us, by only through my blog to know about my life and what i'm thinking. is this really the way of a friendship will be?
talk about promises.
you blamed me for not being there when you needed me. now that you don't need me anymore and you have all the attention you want from another person, can i blame you back for hurting me this way? it's not just you alone. i did not say anything doesn't mean that i'm doing well. i understand you both are treating me this way for a reason but have you thought about how i feel?
i had the urge to call you yesterday just to hear your voice, but i guess i don't need to anymore. may be i should stop crying for now. i guess it's not worth anymore. you've hurt me enough and i'm gonna stop you from doing that to me.
oh well, at the end of the day, i know i'm in no position to tell you what you should or should not do. so everything's up to you then.
Friday, June 25, 2010
love and hate
i'm torn between this two feelings every now and then. i hate myself, seriously.
my life is in a total mess. sometimes i just couldn't stand myself for being so emo.
lost the drive and focus in everything i do. and even if i'm doing something, i'm doing just to numb myself. i'm like a walking zombie.
ask me why i'm not going out? 'cause i'm sick of going out alone!
and even if i'm going out with friends, i hate people questioning about my love life! it's sickening to have to answer everything they asked.
i love you, but i hate you too. for all this shit.
i hate you even more for the things you did not do to me but doing well with her.
my heart is smashed into pieces every time i see it, no matter how tiny the matter is.
yes i'm very sensitive with the things going on around me right now!
a girl is still a girl. no matter how generous she's gonna be, there's always a limit.
please bear with me as i'm gonna be emo in this blog until god knows when.
i figured, maybe blog is the only place for me to rant things out. this is where i can be honest with myself. i don't have to hide my feelings. as i know i can't do so in real life.
my life is in a total mess. sometimes i just couldn't stand myself for being so emo.
lost the drive and focus in everything i do. and even if i'm doing something, i'm doing just to numb myself. i'm like a walking zombie.
ask me why i'm not going out? 'cause i'm sick of going out alone!
and even if i'm going out with friends, i hate people questioning about my love life! it's sickening to have to answer everything they asked.
i love you, but i hate you too. for all this shit.
i hate you even more for the things you did not do to me but doing well with her.
my heart is smashed into pieces every time i see it, no matter how tiny the matter is.
yes i'm very sensitive with the things going on around me right now!
a girl is still a girl. no matter how generous she's gonna be, there's always a limit.
please bear with me as i'm gonna be emo in this blog until god knows when.
i figured, maybe blog is the only place for me to rant things out. this is where i can be honest with myself. i don't have to hide my feelings. as i know i can't do so in real life.
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
chocolate
we've given holidays for a week. russian doctors aren't interested in teaching us foreigners anyway. so what's the point of staying here for practicals, huh? yes, i'm asking you, my beloved MMC. you stupid effing piece of shit for forcing us to do our practicals here!
if it's not because of the practicals, i would have already gone back to m'sia.
i'm so bored and i can't find anything to do. guitar is slowly boring me away if i continue to play it. and i know soon i'm gonna have to find new hobbies.
the sun is good. 30 celsius for the 1st time in russia. but i find no interest in sunbathing. not in the mood i guess.
too lazy to return my books to the library.
had a talked with dominic some days ago. and somehow the conversation triggers my mind and something i once said pops out.
if it's not because of the practicals, i would have already gone back to m'sia.
i'm so bored and i can't find anything to do. guitar is slowly boring me away if i continue to play it. and i know soon i'm gonna have to find new hobbies.
the sun is good. 30 celsius for the 1st time in russia. but i find no interest in sunbathing. not in the mood i guess.
too lazy to return my books to the library.
had a talked with dominic some days ago. and somehow the conversation triggers my mind and something i once said pops out.
'' i don't need chocolates, 'cause you're my chocolate bar. you give me endorphine.''
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
down memory lane
it was a fine evening chat at the basketball court. had a change of environment. got sick of going to the park everyday. and i didn't even wanna stay in the room. brought back memories at the basketball court. it's been almost a year since i last came here.
was fun seeing my unimates playing basketball. to me it was a nice way to spend my evening rather than watching dramas and doing nothing in the room.
i tend to notice every single lil' details going around, or is it me got so used to being a paramedic. i see lots of injuries even if it was just a friendly match.
but oh well..... do take care of your knee.
was fun seeing my unimates playing basketball. to me it was a nice way to spend my evening rather than watching dramas and doing nothing in the room.
i tend to notice every single lil' details going around, or is it me got so used to being a paramedic. i see lots of injuries even if it was just a friendly match.
but oh well..... do take care of your knee.
Saturday, June 19, 2010
a bittersweet 4th year.
well, officially ended 4th year.
i don't think i need any celebration though. so what if i aced it all? so what if it's all 5? i used to be crazy over it, but now it doesn't matter to me anymore. it won't make me happy anyway. please don't congratulate me. i don't feel happy at all.
thank God for every single miracles that he made in my life, especially throughout these exams. seriously i thought i was gonna fail since i only managed to study for neurology like 20% of it.
even the sun today doesn't makes me happy either.
guess i'm just tired of putting on a fake smile.
i don't think i need any celebration though. so what if i aced it all? so what if it's all 5? i used to be crazy over it, but now it doesn't matter to me anymore. it won't make me happy anyway. please don't congratulate me. i don't feel happy at all.
thank God for every single miracles that he made in my life, especially throughout these exams. seriously i thought i was gonna fail since i only managed to study for neurology like 20% of it.
even the sun today doesn't makes me happy either.
guess i'm just tired of putting on a fake smile.
Thursday, June 17, 2010
better in time
we tend to take things for granted until we've completely lost what we had around us. and by the time you know how much it means to you, it's already too late.
i finally understand what it really means by losing someone/something precious and missing it.
yes indeed it felt like it was just yesterday. but in reality, it isn't.
isn't it funny, of how our lives can turn out to be?
now, i guess i shall close this chapter of my life, start writing a brand new one.
and the old chapter shall be kept as our memoir.
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
smile and move on
i'm glad that we've pour it all out eventually.
i feel better, even though it's just a 'hi'.
now that i've know the truth, i'm contented.
i actually found out that i've miss you so much and i miss talking to you.
i actually felt empty deep down, once again.
but somehow,
things got to move on.
there's no turning back.
all we need to do is keep going with our lives. keep moving forward.
make things better.
i know this is too late. but this is what i wanted it to be.
things happen for a reason.
i'm sorry for telling you so late.
i'm sorry 'cause i couldn't control myself from spilling it all out.
i'll make this the last time.
and conditions and promises are to be kept.
i feel better, even though it's just a 'hi'.
now that i've know the truth, i'm contented.
i actually found out that i've miss you so much and i miss talking to you.
i actually felt empty deep down, once again.
but somehow,
things got to move on.
there's no turning back.
all we need to do is keep going with our lives. keep moving forward.
make things better.
i know this is too late. but this is what i wanted it to be.
things happen for a reason.
i'm sorry for telling you so late.
i'm sorry 'cause i couldn't control myself from spilling it all out.
i'll make this the last time.
and conditions and promises are to be kept.
Monday, June 14, 2010
bleeding all over
keeping quiet doesn't mean i don't have anything to say.
i'm struggling with tons of thoughts in me but i just couldn't rant it all out.
i hate it, when i have something to say but i just couldn't express it out.
i shut up, doesn't mean i don't know what's happening all around.
i hate myself, for being so stupid all the time.
i hate myself, for not able to let go of my ego.
i hate myself, for not able to cry out when it's time to do so.
i hate myself, for asking myself how stupid i am everytime i see things that i shouldn't.
i hate myself, for telling a lie.
i hate myself, for pondering upon this even though others don't even give a damn on this shit and continue on their lives.
i hate myself even more, to actually believe in effing promises!
i hate myself even more, for not being the one to say end first.
i'm struggling with tons of thoughts in me but i just couldn't rant it all out.
i hate it, when i have something to say but i just couldn't express it out.
i shut up, doesn't mean i don't know what's happening all around.
i hate myself, for being so stupid all the time.
i hate myself, for not able to let go of my ego.
i hate myself, for not able to cry out when it's time to do so.
i hate myself, for asking myself how stupid i am everytime i see things that i shouldn't.
i hate myself, for telling a lie.
i hate myself, for pondering upon this even though others don't even give a damn on this shit and continue on their lives.
i hate myself even more, to actually believe in effing promises!
i hate myself even more, for not being the one to say end first.
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
a big shout out to you!
stop telling me what i should do. you're not me, i'm not you. you're not mine and i'm not yours. this is how i handle my life and my stuff around me. so shut up.
i took the wrong step and i'll never ever fall into this. never.
i'm stubborn and this is me. if you can't tolerate that's your business. you should know it from the first day. i'll be myself. if you can't tolerate it, then it's obvious you're not going for the right thing from the beginning. i've learnt my lesson well.
i took the wrong step and i'll never ever fall into this. never.
i'm stubborn and this is me. if you can't tolerate that's your business. you should know it from the first day. i'll be myself. if you can't tolerate it, then it's obvious you're not going for the right thing from the beginning. i've learnt my lesson well.
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
hey jerk, you suck.
efff you!!!! you don't earn my respect. we don't look down on you intentionally, you bring this onto yourself. you sissy. such a coward. don't cheat. well come to think of it, since when you don't cheat. go russianize youself, you won't earn respects from us. anyways your russian friends are treating you well, ain't it?
learnt a lesson today. all these once again reminds me that, it's nice to be cold hearted, none of y'all gonna gain sympathy from me. NO. NEVER. you die, that's your business.
bad things do come in a bunch. come what may. i'm numb by these anyways.
just don't screw up my finals that's it.
period.
learnt a lesson today. all these once again reminds me that, it's nice to be cold hearted, none of y'all gonna gain sympathy from me. NO. NEVER. you die, that's your business.
bad things do come in a bunch. come what may. i'm numb by these anyways.
just don't screw up my finals that's it.
period.
Monday, May 17, 2010
Job's trials You've given to me are too much for me to bear. i'm left all alone all the time. i own nothing. i numb myself with materials around me. i can't take this no more. i yearn for love. i'm desperate for it. why is it i can't even feel Your love at all? why not even Yours? why is everything happening to me but not to others. why is every bad things revolve around me? i'm envious, i'm jealous, i'm sinful in every way. i'm on the verge to break down but who could help me? my heart is broken into pieces and who could heal it? who could tell me what went wrong?
Sunday, May 9, 2010
hot.tanned.sweaty.
and smelly too. lols. but i'm loving it =D. this is my type of weather.
now who says malaysia is hot?
now who says malaysia is hot?
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
a hole in ma pocket
it was a fruitful fun-filled weekend, from meetings with Ps. Daniel Ho, tamil cup, to shopping spree and lots more.
and this is how to keep a busy monkey happy ;)
and, offcially, i'm a shopaholic in need of treatment ;(
next in my list,
and this is how to keep a busy monkey happy ;)
and, offcially, i'm a shopaholic in need of treatment ;(
next in my list,
a timberland women's 6-inch boots. gotta own one before the next euro trip ( hopefully :):) )
Sunday, April 25, 2010
a lil' touch of irish
''i'm a great believer in luck. the harder i work, the more i get of it.''
now i know what keeps me going all this while.
this is how i did it, how i scored perfectly during 3rd year.
hmmm....
damn, how can i actually forget about this quote,
knowingly that i'm out of luck all the time.
oh btw, this has got nothing to do with the shamrock, it's all about the green ;)
now i know what keeps me going all this while.
this is how i did it, how i scored perfectly during 3rd year.
hmmm....
damn, how can i actually forget about this quote,
knowingly that i'm out of luck all the time.
oh btw, this has got nothing to do with the shamrock, it's all about the green ;)
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
a place with no time
PUNCTUALITY
somehow, i just can't find this word in most of the Malaysians' dictionaries.
aren't Malaysians famous for being late?
and somehow, if i'm late, i won't be happy with myself, and this will ruin my day.
i thank God that i'm not brought up this way.
don't get offended by this, but this is the fact.
somehow, i just can't find this word in most of the Malaysians' dictionaries.
aren't Malaysians famous for being late?
and somehow, if i'm late, i won't be happy with myself, and this will ruin my day.
i thank God that i'm not brought up this way.
don't get offended by this, but this is the fact.
Sunday, April 18, 2010
remembering.who.me.is.
getting rid of this effing pessimism.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
activating the optimistic trait in me.
Thursday, April 15, 2010
wen-li vs. sports
seeing my fellow unimates off for this year's intervarsity games makes me having the urge to join sports once again. there's resentment and regrets in me for not taking up any sports for the past few years.
seeing them off reminds me of those days where i took part in tons of competitions. i just miss having fun.
guess i'm still loving sports but i just don't know about it, not until now. the desire to compete and to sweat and enjoy is still running in my blood. the adrenaline rush, and the feeling of nervousness, as though it's like your heart is about to explode.i miss this feeling.
i still remember how it feels like the moment i step onto the platform
may be i just dare not do this anymore, knowing that i've lost my stamina and strength for the past years and i just hate the feeling of losing, and for fear of letting my teammates down.
seeing them off reminds me of those days where i took part in tons of competitions. i just miss having fun.
guess i'm still loving sports but i just don't know about it, not until now. the desire to compete and to sweat and enjoy is still running in my blood. the adrenaline rush, and the feeling of nervousness, as though it's like your heart is about to explode.i miss this feeling.
i still remember how it feels like the moment i step onto the platform
this is what i am now. feeling heavy. don't think i'll have the stamina to reach the goal soon enough.
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
imma skip this boring class!!
it's either my phone alarm doesn't work, or my ears.
blame them both!
skipping class without the intention of skipping once again.
cheers to me!
blame them both!
skipping class without the intention of skipping once again.
cheers to me!
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
imma dance under the sun!
and so i've met that old lady once again at the metro station entrance. i'm very happy now, though it costs me a meal. it's worth trading a shaurma or a trip to a nearby restaurant to just buy two pairs of socks. what i had in return, is something that can't be described by words. seeing her thankful happy face brightens my day =D ( plus i have two new pairs of socks to wear! woohoo! no more holes for now.)
she even tried explaining to me that her socks are not expensive, it costs only 50rubs a pair. but well, it doesn't matter to me at all.
all i care is that she's doing a decent job, earning a living. i'll be glad if i can help her and make her day a better one.
she even tried explaining to me that her socks are not expensive, it costs only 50rubs a pair. but well, it doesn't matter to me at all.
all i care is that she's doing a decent job, earning a living. i'll be glad if i can help her and make her day a better one.
Monday, April 12, 2010
imma crash you partayyyy!
i'm glad that easter party is over, in just a blink of an eye. i'm honored to be the photographer of the event once again. i still think i need to improve my skills tho. holding a camera infront of a pro photographer and taking his pictures shakens me.
i'm in no position to accept that. please don't thank me or whatsoever. i know clearly myself, that i don't deserve it at all. it's all about team work. i'm not the one doing the job alone, the whole crew didn't sleep for the event too. and ideas too, came from each and everyone of us. i felt guilty for my name being mentioned but not the team, clearly they are the ones who deserve this.
but at the end of the day it's a job well done and all glory goes to You.
by the way...crashing people's party is wayyyyy shooooo cool~~~ =P
proud to be a party crasher tho. LOLLLL
i'm in no position to accept that. please don't thank me or whatsoever. i know clearly myself, that i don't deserve it at all. it's all about team work. i'm not the one doing the job alone, the whole crew didn't sleep for the event too. and ideas too, came from each and everyone of us. i felt guilty for my name being mentioned but not the team, clearly they are the ones who deserve this.
but at the end of the day it's a job well done and all glory goes to You.
by the way...crashing people's party is wayyyyy shooooo cool~~~ =P
proud to be a party crasher tho. LOLLLL
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
si kentang
hey fatty bom bom
pergi balik kampung
curi curi jagung
balik jadi agung!
my mum used to sing this when i was young and fat.
yess..i'm a fat lil' gigantic baby with two huge cheeks,which squeeze my eyes till they turned sepet!
Monday, April 5, 2010
shhprrringg!!
the sun is reminding me once again, i'm a survivor. and am proud of it =D
oh and with such sunlight for spring, and if minus the wind, i'm gonna become a spring chicken anytime soon. can't wait for the flowers and grasses. and pollens =P
liking the sun alot. spring is the best time to put my LC-A into action too!
cheers peeps!!
Friday, April 2, 2010
the guilt.
i still can't forgive myself for what i had done this afternoon. i still can't forget about her.
for those who travels to metro konkovo everyday, i'm pretty sure you've met this old lady before. around 80 y.o. , typical babushka with a head scarf and boots, and a bag full of socks.
life has been hard for her, i reckon. sometimes i would see her selling socks in the cold, not during the peak of winter though, at the staircase where we usually would run up to catch our bus back to our hostel. every time people pass by her, she would say something like '' dear people, please buy some socks from me, help me.''
i don't know about you peeps, but if you've never noticed her before, try look around. she'll be at the staircase, holding a few pair of socks, and with a black trolley bag. if you are not financially tight, maybe you can lend a hand by buying at least a pair of socks from her??
i admit, sometimes i don't even think about the value of money when it comes to buying something i desire most. i know people who spends money like water here too. may be you can eat less and spend on her instead. what about you? think.
i know, there are plenty of old folks selling stuff and begging around, you can't just help everyone of them. but by helping at least one, you've done a great job for the mankind.
i regretted, for not helping, to at least buy a pair of socks everytime i meet her. how i wish i'm rich enough to just buy the whole bag of socks from her.
for those who travels to metro konkovo everyday, i'm pretty sure you've met this old lady before. around 80 y.o. , typical babushka with a head scarf and boots, and a bag full of socks.
life has been hard for her, i reckon. sometimes i would see her selling socks in the cold, not during the peak of winter though, at the staircase where we usually would run up to catch our bus back to our hostel. every time people pass by her, she would say something like '' dear people, please buy some socks from me, help me.''
i don't know about you peeps, but if you've never noticed her before, try look around. she'll be at the staircase, holding a few pair of socks, and with a black trolley bag. if you are not financially tight, maybe you can lend a hand by buying at least a pair of socks from her??
i admit, sometimes i don't even think about the value of money when it comes to buying something i desire most. i know people who spends money like water here too. may be you can eat less and spend on her instead. what about you? think.
i know, there are plenty of old folks selling stuff and begging around, you can't just help everyone of them. but by helping at least one, you've done a great job for the mankind.
i regretted, for not helping, to at least buy a pair of socks everytime i meet her. how i wish i'm rich enough to just buy the whole bag of socks from her.
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
черная лента
i've never felt so unsafe before. 29th march 2010 morning isn't just the same as any other mornings.
i so thank God that i'm safe. i was traveling in the metro at 8.30 am too when the 2nd blast occured. i thank God that i'm not using the same line and metro station like i did few weeks ago.
i thank God again as they didn't choose oktyabrskaya ( the station that i'm current traveling to) as it's one of the busiest stations located at the city centre. i thank God for all the malaysians who escaped from the blast. hope they'll recover asap.
traveling in the metro isn't the same anymore after what had occured.
people don't feel safe anymore and so do i.
eyes are busy looking everywhere, just to keep track on any suspicious figure that might bomb our lives away.
let us wear/tie a black ribbon as a symbol to mark this day, to mourn for the deceased, till 2nd april.
i so thank God that i'm safe. i was traveling in the metro at 8.30 am too when the 2nd blast occured. i thank God that i'm not using the same line and metro station like i did few weeks ago.
i thank God again as they didn't choose oktyabrskaya ( the station that i'm current traveling to) as it's one of the busiest stations located at the city centre. i thank God for all the malaysians who escaped from the blast. hope they'll recover asap.
traveling in the metro isn't the same anymore after what had occured.
people don't feel safe anymore and so do i.
eyes are busy looking everywhere, just to keep track on any suspicious figure that might bomb our lives away.
let us wear/tie a black ribbon as a symbol to mark this day, to mourn for the deceased, till 2nd april.
Monday, March 22, 2010
picks or fingernails? my pick.
so....again i'm just too lazy to retrieve my password from blogger. many things i've wanted to update but i guess i'll just give it a miss. anyways those were just plain rantings so i guess it wouldn't be so important to tell the world.
anyways...
i went and am back from red square feeling disappointed because i just missed that FRIGGIN' FIFA WORLD CUP TOUR IN RUSSIA!!!! saw them started packing when we were there.
hmmmppph...but at least i get a chance to play with my lomos for awhile in red square.
decided to learn up 'ache' by james carrington. love this song so much.
here's the chords-->
http://www.ultimate-guitar.com/tabs/j/james_carrington/ache_crd.htm
and here's the video-->
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eQsEytN1nwM
i got so carried away with my black beauty that i actually spent like 7 hours!! playing it.
oh oh and i decided to stick some stickers on it to let it look cooler =D
black beauty is my guitar FYI.
and i have a bad habit of using my thumb to strum. hmm...
anyways...
i went and am back from red square feeling disappointed because i just missed that FRIGGIN' FIFA WORLD CUP TOUR IN RUSSIA!!!! saw them started packing when we were there.
hmmmppph...but at least i get a chance to play with my lomos for awhile in red square.
decided to learn up 'ache' by james carrington. love this song so much.
here's the chords-->
http://www.ultimate-guitar.com/tabs/j/james_carrington/ache_crd.htm
and here's the video-->
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eQsEytN1nwM
i got so carried away with my black beauty that i actually spent like 7 hours!! playing it.
oh oh and i decided to stick some stickers on it to let it look cooler =D
black beauty is my guitar FYI.
and i have a bad habit of using my thumb to strum. hmm...
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
as simple as that?
all i can do now is to put on a smile.move forward.stay positive. no matter what lies ahead.
so can you
so can you
Monday, March 8, 2010
women's day
spend the rest of my film at the park. almost finish snapping and i shall develop the photos soon. can't wait to see the results of my newly bought lomo kompakt-automat. really hope everything goes well.
a dog got frightened by me when i try to take a picture of him.
lessons learned: don't get too near to a dog when he's not aware of it. LOL.
had a wonderful celebration with zone A people. wonderful time we spent, wonderful meal we had. thanks a million for the preparations. especially the video. i salute you for the courage guys =D you know what i mean =)
a dog got frightened by me when i try to take a picture of him.
lessons learned: don't get too near to a dog when he's not aware of it. LOL.
had a wonderful celebration with zone A people. wonderful time we spent, wonderful meal we had. thanks a million for the preparations. especially the video. i salute you for the courage guys =D you know what i mean =)
Sunday, February 28, 2010
i've got mail!
how funny is that, when i have the time and mood to actually check for my letters while waiting for the lifts, i won't get one. but if i just don't go for it, it'll come to my doorstep! it's not the first time already.
guess it's so true that, things come to you when you least expected.
and which makes me decide to just wait for my pen to appear rather than searching the whole room frantically for it. i shall sit/lie down and wait. hmmm...
( i lost my favorite pen in the room. i'm pretty sure of it as i didn't go out at all today! spooky~~)
Friday, February 26, 2010
when fatigue hits me.
still in a self-denial state , i am not old.
i just overworked myself last year.
i just overworked myself last year.
Monday, February 22, 2010
in love with my guitar
OH GREAT! callouses are starting to form on the tip of my fingers. they are reddish and swollen. and PAIN. signs to tell me that i should stop playing for the day.
Saturday, February 20, 2010
my fingers are so pain playing the guitar.
just bought a second hand guitar yesterday. i'm such a big spender these few days. i'm gonna suffer for the next few months. have to really go tight on my expenses. i still have to save money for my dslr.
i kept on spending for the past few days. what's more, sushi outing with my groupmates. shouldn't have done that.
probably got influenced by my mood. i have to stop spending. that's so not me.
just bought a second hand guitar yesterday. i'm such a big spender these few days. i'm gonna suffer for the next few months. have to really go tight on my expenses. i still have to save money for my dslr.
i kept on spending for the past few days. what's more, sushi outing with my groupmates. shouldn't have done that.
probably got influenced by my mood. i have to stop spending. that's so not me.
Thursday, February 18, 2010
Monday, February 15, 2010
a hit on my head
i just realized that i've let go on stuffs i've been holding on so tight. lots of them. or can i just take a rest instead? i need a change. indecisive of whether to give them up completely as it affects my life.
Sunday, February 14, 2010
gong hei V day
chinese new year and Valentine's clashed!!! &@%#$*&^*@!
what's more maslenitsa!!
to those who don't know what's maslenitsa is (i assume most malaysians don't know), check this out. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maslenitsa
LOL, and check this out too. can't blame her, she just ran out of idea. and me too. www.dailychilli.com/buzz/2347-sandra-bullock-dyes-pubic-hair-for-valentines
what's more maslenitsa!!
to those who don't know what's maslenitsa is (i assume most malaysians don't know), check this out. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maslenitsa
LOL, and check this out too. can't blame her, she just ran out of idea. and me too. www.dailychilli.com/buzz/2347-sandra-bullock-dyes-pubic-hair-for-valentines
Friday, February 12, 2010
lip smacking, tongue twisting.
ever tried using your thumb to dig your nose?
ever thought, why is it his-story and not her-story?
why humans don't eat through their anus and shit through their mouth?
why is it people always misspell the word 'tongue' to 'toungue' and Russians always pronouns it as tong-gae?
is my hamster having contrast obsessions?
well, it's just some silly-boring-random thoughts came popping out from the tiny gyri of ma brain. hmm may be thoughtsies are bored staying in the gyri too.
or is it me showing signs of the side effects of psychiatric classes?
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
humans need to hibernate too.
classes have started. winter is treating me badly. missing the weather in egypt. still on a holiday mood. and i can't believe i had the best winter holidays ever. fruitful~~
1st of all, Egypt turns me into a baked potato (i'm super tanned and duper happy!!! =D) and full of vitamin D to keep the other D out of me (i'm speaking about depression).
and winter conference, a great one. never expected it to be so good, honestly speaking. great preachings, speeches, great performances. i learn a lot.
free to fall
and winter conference, a great one. never expected it to be so good, honestly speaking. great preachings, speeches, great performances. i learn a lot.
free to fallthis is what i would call GIRL POWER. these bunch of girls, seriously, they totally rock my ass off!!! i just like how they play their electronic guitars and drums. awesome! guys may feel intimidated, but they have my respect. ask any of the girls who attended the conference, we are all in awe.
at one point i wish i could play the guitar or drum like them, and rock like them! yea isn't this has always been my wish? i've always wanted to learn things that girls usually don't.
okay.
updates on me.
yup. i had my holidays spent wonderfully in egypt. beautiful beaches, rich historical events and archeological sites, and not forgetting sucky locals. yes yucky locals. they can really spoil your holidays. i lost my cool towards the end of my holidays in egypt. some of them got scolded by me. the bus conductor, the tour guide, the 8 year old kid, you name it.
but well, sum it all up into great experiences =D
so, that's me, soaking in the sun.
and turn into a baked potato.at one point i wish i could play the guitar or drum like them, and rock like them! yea isn't this has always been my wish? i've always wanted to learn things that girls usually don't.
okay.
updates on me.
yup. i had my holidays spent wonderfully in egypt. beautiful beaches, rich historical events and archeological sites, and not forgetting sucky locals. yes yucky locals. they can really spoil your holidays. i lost my cool towards the end of my holidays in egypt. some of them got scolded by me. the bus conductor, the tour guide, the 8 year old kid, you name it.
but well, sum it all up into great experiences =D
so, that's me, soaking in the sun.
LOL. notice the different shades of skin complexion there?
lessons learned. never read a book with your sunglasses on while sunbaking on the beach. (but how the hell am i going to read a book under the bright sunlight?? pfttt.)
oh well, like who cares, i have a tanned skin now, i feel healthy and sexayy =P. rock on!!!
lessons learned. never read a book with your sunglasses on while sunbaking on the beach. (but how the hell am i going to read a book under the bright sunlight?? pfttt.)
oh well, like who cares, i have a tanned skin now, i feel healthy and sexayy =P. rock on!!!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)