promises are meant to be broken.

i've been thinking about this a lot lately...
what's the use of having a close friend if you don't even believe what i've told you...your words pierce straight through my heart..i've never expected that i would get those answers from you..i was so hoping to come back to moscow to see you after the trip and tell you what happened to me...i was already so hurt by that incident..you didn't even console me..yet you said something...it seemed to me that you took pity on him instead of me...as though i'm the one who started all these and he's the one who got hurt.
how am i suppose to trust u anymore?
you're so close to him...i don't even dare to share my thoughts with you anymore.
i'm trying to ignore you..even trying to avoid eye contact because i just don't know how to talk to you anymore.
i'm not sure whether i'm paranoid over these or not...is this my own problem or what, somehow i just can't trust you anymore.
and don't tell me about promises because i don't believe such thing exists. i've always thought i can always make a difference out of this whenever people tells me that promises are meant to be broken..but it's already proven to me..there's no such thing that we can keep a promise..there are no promises in this world except God's promises to us.

random thoughts

''it always rains the hardest, on the people who deserve the sun.''

what makes a bad medical student?

cool entry!
my dear coursemates...whoever read this, i just hope you're not the one she's talking about. though i know there's a few of you who matches all these points.
check this out...

http://medscape.typepad.com/thedifferential/2008/03/what-makes-a-ba.html

storms are over..at least for time being

after having mishaps for the past two days..at last, i get to see the brighter side today.it was truly a blessed day and thank God for blessing me.

i managed to clear my physiology colloq today, not bad, and finished presenting my topic on eugenics and its history for my bioethics class..and...hiak hiak got my zachut!! one subject cleared!! ;)
i'm glad that teacher likes my presentation a lot..and with those non-stop praising..hehe..i'm contented. :) and i think i've found back the will power to study harder..just like the me during 1st sem that never slacks.been slacking a lot since 2nd sem started. hmm..colloqs more to come.

anyways.. some announcement to make...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY DEAR SURESH & SHUMAINE!!!!
(do all ppl born this day have S for their initials??hahaha)

cheeroz
off i go now, tchus!!

this time i have to face it, and i know i can

was having a break from studying and suddenly thought of you. i recall back what happened on my 21st b'day.
there's things which left undone..i know i should've at least say thanks to you.

Thanks for the kiss, it's the best b'day gift ever. though it might not meant anything to you. just wanna let you know that it's the first kiss i've received, from a guy i like. it meant a lot to me.

letting you go is perhaps the hardest thing i could ever do. i've always thought that this thing, it wouldn't be any problem for me, thought that i could handle it well but i was so wrong about it. it hurts me tremendously. but somehow, the kiss eases the pain, and it's like an alarm clock..telling me that it's time for me to wake up.

so i've already decided, i'm letting you go now, it has been so long and it's time to put everything behind, to be only wonderful memories, get on with my life and stop pondering about it. and what now i'm hoping for is a genuine friendship between us.
Thank God for pulling us near once again. and let us get to know each other even more.

when trials set asail & my moods descend,

when pain & sorrow seem never to end,

I yield to you, O Lord, so that I may see,

The peace & the joy you've promised me.

when will you appear,standing right in front of me?

don't ever think that you know me. you are not.
i'm not the superwoman you've always thought of. i'm not made of steel.i'm ....nothing.
yes, i may look like one but the me, deep inside, is fragile. so fragile that i can be crushed even by your lil' finger..anytime.
i put up a brave front so that i won't be taken advantage easily. i learn to be independent 'cos i know i can never trust anyone in this world. guess that's how it is to survive in this dark world and that's how life should be..how pathetic is that.
i'm so tired of all these, i need a break. sometimes i really wanna give myself a chance for not being a hardcore, before i lose my sanity.
where's all the love, the care gone?
i need a shoulder to cry on.

it'll never be the same again

bitchy guy.

what bitchy guy?? u must be wondering.because people usually won't label guys as bitchy.
when i say bitchy...means it's bitchy.i dun simply call a person bitchy..so when i said so...means that person is so totally bitchy..as in VERY.

have u ever met a guy who likes u, sends u flowers, sweet talks, even willing to pay for the eurotrip(wtf u think i can't pay for myself??!!) & even sticks around with u all the time like a leech..that most of the times u felt so suffocated n so tired of it.but on the other hand..he's been talking bad about u behind ur back...been backstabbing u?worst,he told others that i'm his girlfriend!! if u haven't met such guy before..take this as my advice to u..be careful because such guy do exist! he's even worst than a gal who bitches around.

i can forgive him.but if he doesn't wanna admit..how am i gonna forgive him?still trying to defend himself..keeps blaming on us.YEAH RIGHT,we started everything,we are to blame for this!bullshit!so who's the crapper now?!

To YOU (you know who you are),

i've always treated u as a close friend but what did i get in return?no, that doesn't mean i'm asking for anything in return..i just want a pure friendship,that's it.i don't even wanna hurt ur feelings for asking u to give me some space but instead letting u sticking around with me like a leech.i've even told u like dozens of times that it's impossible between us, & i didn't even wanna hurt u,by telling u that i do have someone in my mind right now.u're my friend,i don't wanna hurt u.i just can't do it.i'd rather suffer on my own,for almost 1 1/2 years for this.
THINGS WILL NEVER BE THE SAME AGAIN.so what if u're forgiven?u can never save the friendship anymore.U KILLED OUR FRIENDSHIP.sorry to tell u this.please admit ur wrongdoings & leave us alone..no one deserves to be hurt by ur so called political tactics.don't use it on us.

it hurts me alot..especially i'm one of those who cherish friendships.friendships meant alot to me.it hurts me so bad that you even make me lose my trust in my other close friends.
u know me well, u know i hate backstabbers, but why do you have to do this to me?
get out of my life..i just don't wanna see u anymore.
AND YES.YOU'RE FORGIVEN.even though u dun wanna admit it.

lazytobacteria invades!!

now i truly believe what i've been told.YES i'm so totally agree with what they've said.2nd sem for 2nd year students are SO SO SO free!!! and it even got me into blogging..lols

symptoms of laziness has started to show..gosh..i didn't even touch my books after coming back from my eurotrip...which was like..WHAT?! it's been a month??!! damn...

well the eurotrip was really a great experience for me..will never forget every single moment..the good n the bad memories will always be in my mind.it was a great time for me to relax my mind after sitting for those gruelling finals,which results turn out to be...GREAT!got what i've wanted..'avtomat' for anatomy..hehe.thank God.

oh yeah..& the things i shouldn't know..which i got to know during the trip..somehow God just wanted me to go to the trip to see what i wouldn't get to see..2 weeks' time & someone's true colors have shown.guess that's how God tries to keep me away from evil eh.alrite forget about this..it's not important anyway.

highlight of the trip?of course it's the culture,histories,sceneries & architectures! i'm a big sucker for those!

going around Europe backpacking style was tiring but there's nothing to complain about.i would love to do it again!should really thank my parents for this wonderful trip.Muakkss!!

Hmm...what should i do next?continue watching movies?hahaha..

HAPPY WOMEN'S DAY to all my fellow species from planet venus out there,whether u're on earth or u're still stuck in planet venus!! ;P

Do Malaysian guys ever respect girls??

i wonder if there's any of you out there really do respect girls..

seeing how Russian guys appreciate this wonderful day..celebrating this day by giving out flowers and gifts..even to their female coursemates..they cherish the women beside them.yet not even a single malaysian guy(except you, Suresh ,you're the only gentleman i know) bother to wish us happy women's day!shame on you guys...even our lecturers(female as well) wished us!

can't you guys just treat us equally?damn chauvinist pigs.

please..you're not the dominant ones

THINK..if it's not your mum...how the hell can you be ended up in this world?she's the one who suffered 10 months and gave birth to you.

guys...change your mindset..it's the 21st century.women do contribute for this world OK!

not that i've seen any guys that are so smart.some are so stupid and they think they're great.and stop boasting around,i feel embarrassed for you.