see, i told you. it's never easy getting over it.
i'm supposed to be happy on new year. but thank god, at least i didn't spend it alone.
the thing is, when i get so attached in a relationship, even if it's just a friendship, things fall apart. friends changed.
and now i'm afraid of being so close to anyone. i chose to do everything on my own, going on a date with myself even though i badly need someone's company. i never liked being a loner, but i guess i have to.
i miss some of my friends, i dare not tell them. i wanted them to hang with me, but i just dare not approach anymore. or is it me giving up, for being always the first to approach. i don't know what's going on. i ended up lying to myself, ''hey look, they are busy with their studies, stop haunting them.''
it doesn't matter if it breaks me in a girlboy relationship, since that last shit's been almost 2 years and i'm not planning to get into one at the moment. but seriously, a failed friendship does hurt me. BADLY.
i just have to accept, that this is my weakest point. for those who've done this to me, congrats, you won.
so i guess that's why i turned myself into a shopaholic. owning stuff makes me really happy. and at least my pair of Docs are keeping me happy when i'm travelling everywhere alone.
i'm supposed to be happy on new year. but thank god, at least i didn't spend it alone.
the thing is, when i get so attached in a relationship, even if it's just a friendship, things fall apart. friends changed.
and now i'm afraid of being so close to anyone. i chose to do everything on my own, going on a date with myself even though i badly need someone's company. i never liked being a loner, but i guess i have to.
i miss some of my friends, i dare not tell them. i wanted them to hang with me, but i just dare not approach anymore. or is it me giving up, for being always the first to approach. i don't know what's going on. i ended up lying to myself, ''hey look, they are busy with their studies, stop haunting them.''
it doesn't matter if it breaks me in a girlboy relationship, since that last shit's been almost 2 years and i'm not planning to get into one at the moment. but seriously, a failed friendship does hurt me. BADLY.
i just have to accept, that this is my weakest point. for those who've done this to me, congrats, you won.
so i guess that's why i turned myself into a shopaholic. owning stuff makes me really happy. and at least my pair of Docs are keeping me happy when i'm travelling everywhere alone.
1 comment:
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