Having the urge to shop. BADLY.

THANK YOU SO VERY MUCH.

First, you gave up on our friendship and treat me like a trash. Now, you come asking me how am i.

You know what. I'm gonna say I AM FINE. AND THANKS FOR LETTING ME KNOW THAT YOU'RE NOT WORTH BEING MY FRIEND.

Owh. And thanks so much for making me looking like a freak being isolated. And most important, for emotionally imploding.

:)

Some people gets away alive. Am trying hard to.

So many things have changed, and so do people. They come and go, and it makes me feel like i've been stagnant, or is it that i'm moving too slow.

Accept the fact that nobody would actually stop by and care for a second.

Just gotta keep moving. And for once just be selfish. No one would ever care anyways. What matters most is that it protects me from being hurt again.

Now that everything's back to square one. Just like how it was used to be. A loner will always be a loner. Maybe right now acceptance means giving up.

back to being a loner

it's a good start. a good week.
still, there's some uneasiness going around. i still couldn't get what my heart's been telling me.
am i doing the right thing?
why things just can't be simple?
should i shun myself away from all these, and be how i used to be.
to be foolish? or be selfish?

please don't force the monster out of me anymore.

I cry, because i cherish.

And That was a day filled with hormonal changes, got so emotional, nose got stucked by never ending production of mucous which i can't seemed to control. It felt like as though i just had a crazy ride. I make mistakes and i learn. Bad things do happen if we have too much laughters. Then again, it is normal having arguments between friends. This will either ruin everything,or it will make our bond stronger. Definitely am hoping for the latter. I'm glad that it's all good now. I Don't want this no more. I appreciate the good times we had and hoping for the best.

am all emo

thought of grandpa today since it's father's day. just realized when i couldn't find a picture of him to have it posted up on facebook. how i wish he's still around and i could take a picture of him.
sometimes i just wished you'd still be here to see me graduate, to share my passion in photography, to go for an evening walk. i don't even get a chance to know what you're into and not. who knows we might share the same hobby when others don't.
miss you lots, gong gong. 


just sent off some brats. all leaving to malaysia. and now i'm left alone in moscow :(
i wanna go home too. :(
arghhhhhh!!! missing everyone already!

this is the time of the year when

I JUST WANNA GO HOME AND BE A MUMMY'S AND DADDY'S GIRL.

:'(

if you ask me

again, my friend, i'll give you the same answer.

i don't know why, and i don't understand it either.

and i chose not to ask this question to myself anymore, knowing that i could never find an answer to it.

i've decided to take the plunge, again and again, knowing one day that i'll be hurt again.

maybe that's my nature, for being too caring. that's just me, i can't change myself. 

i could never.

i've tried being cold hearted. then again, only to certain people that i think who deserves it.

some people may think it's all fake, and some even think i'm up to no good.

all i could say, 

that is me, only to a chosen few. and i could never give you a solid answer why.

maybe it's just as simple as that, a word called fate. 

starry day

seeing this,

part of me smiled

part of me ached

you don't know how much i miss spending time with you.

even if it means staying silent and not talking at all.

i still can't bring myself to do it

sorry

give me back my smile.

my biggest fear is, i can't forgive you.
tell me how am i going to forgive you.
and i'm so confused, 'cause it's not even completely your fault.


for the first time, i failed.
my life is crippled.

of myalgia and fatigue.

the signs and symptoms are slowly revealing.
i know i'm gonna get sick soon.

why is it always when i'm busy??
i can't afford to get sick for this cycle.
what's more next week. =(

looking forward to next week.

when nothing else matters

this is the time when even standing on the street in the coldest day, i still see a rainbow over my head and feeling the warmth in my heart. 

my heart sings even when the worst teacher in the world is trying to piss me off.

it's so different this time round.

and now i have something to look forward to for the day :)

i like this feeling :))))


keeping you in my prayers.

silly me.

I'M ALL SMILES.

are you?

crossing my fingers, praying for the day to come.

imma surrender it all.

i pray it turns out well. 

silly. i know.

i am waiting.

:))))))


p.s. you make me smile like a fool.

comment allez-vous?

i wonder what will happen if my brain cells have declared holidays.

in the mood of learning french.
needa use it soon.
and looking forward to.

=D

goshies am such a dreamer these days.
wen-li, exams tomorrow!

eggs can break stones, so do mustard seeds can move mountains.

because i believe.
and the more i believe, the more i'll work with You.

:)

and i think i know why i'm so calm now.
but still it's too calm. it's still too weirdddddd.

for You, for the trip, for our ostrye krilya :)

bread crumbs on my bed

it's 5 am now and still i don't know what am i doing, sitting in front of the computer.
and i freaking don't understand what i've been reading all this while.
how am i gonna sit for my exams this coming sunday?
i have no idea.
and is it normal that i'm not feeling scared or panic at all?
what is happening?
I'M TOO CALM! 

this is weirdddddd.

and how the hell bread crumbs ended up on my bed?

new year.

so here goes, marking another year of me getting stranded in russia.

without parties and gatherings. that's how i spent my new year this year.

wasn't that bad compared to last year though. 

went shopping with a cutie pie, which was rather potong stim 'cause all shops close at 6pm! (didn't get to buy my green color jeans!!! arrrggghhh!)

had a chat with a friend. it was a nice chat as we were able to do a flash back on what we've done for the past year, the greatest disappointment, and so many other wonderful things which happened.

things happen for a reason.

and i'm a firm believer that God brought certain people and circumstances into and out of our lives.

2010 was a rather interesting year to me, by far the best.

i've experienced what i've never experienced before.

i fell in love, then out of love. 

meeting interesting people around the world. 

old friends changed, made new friends. 

found a clone, a twin, or i myself prefer calling a sister :)

trying new things which i've never tried before ( which i'm rather proud of, especially tried ball games like futsal, basketball, volleyball, hockey, etc. i can't even believe myself!)

and finally realized what life really is, or at least i know better about it now and enjoy every single moment of it :) 

life is no longer just books and books and medical books. LOL

learned how to really love everyone around me, trying not to be as cold as i used to be.

the best part was during summer holidays, where there's a great deal of life changing experience :)

i had a wild ride and i enjoyed it.

i've always wanted my life to be interesting. and there it goes, my prayers answered.

and am looking forward to another wild year. 2011 you betta spice up my life!