back to being a loner

it's a good start. a good week.
still, there's some uneasiness going around. i still couldn't get what my heart's been telling me.
am i doing the right thing?
why things just can't be simple?
should i shun myself away from all these, and be how i used to be.
to be foolish? or be selfish?

please don't force the monster out of me anymore.

I cry, because i cherish.

And That was a day filled with hormonal changes, got so emotional, nose got stucked by never ending production of mucous which i can't seemed to control. It felt like as though i just had a crazy ride. I make mistakes and i learn. Bad things do happen if we have too much laughters. Then again, it is normal having arguments between friends. This will either ruin everything,or it will make our bond stronger. Definitely am hoping for the latter. I'm glad that it's all good now. I Don't want this no more. I appreciate the good times we had and hoping for the best.

am all emo

thought of grandpa today since it's father's day. just realized when i couldn't find a picture of him to have it posted up on facebook. how i wish he's still around and i could take a picture of him.
sometimes i just wished you'd still be here to see me graduate, to share my passion in photography, to go for an evening walk. i don't even get a chance to know what you're into and not. who knows we might share the same hobby when others don't.
miss you lots, gong gong. 


just sent off some brats. all leaving to malaysia. and now i'm left alone in moscow :(
i wanna go home too. :(
arghhhhhh!!! missing everyone already!

this is the time of the year when

I JUST WANNA GO HOME AND BE A MUMMY'S AND DADDY'S GIRL.

:'(

if you ask me

again, my friend, i'll give you the same answer.

i don't know why, and i don't understand it either.

and i chose not to ask this question to myself anymore, knowing that i could never find an answer to it.

i've decided to take the plunge, again and again, knowing one day that i'll be hurt again.

maybe that's my nature, for being too caring. that's just me, i can't change myself. 

i could never.

i've tried being cold hearted. then again, only to certain people that i think who deserves it.

some people may think it's all fake, and some even think i'm up to no good.

all i could say, 

that is me, only to a chosen few. and i could never give you a solid answer why.

maybe it's just as simple as that, a word called fate. 

starry day

seeing this,

part of me smiled

part of me ached

you don't know how much i miss spending time with you.

even if it means staying silent and not talking at all.

i still can't bring myself to do it

sorry