goodbye world.

can you just please leave me alone? 
i'm not in the mood of doing anything. not for practicals, not for BBQ, not for leadership meetings, not for video sessions, not even for any leadings. and yes, i failed to be a leader.
and how am i suppose to lead others when i'm in a mess now?
please let me rest for awhile.
i'm not in the mood for anything.
i'm not even prepared to go back to m'sia.

tired

dear God, i know i'm asking too much but please, can You just please clear my mind? 
let me be happy. for real.

octopaul

and so spain won this year's world cup. just as i expected.
gonna spare you this time octopus paul. at least you predicted correctly for spain.
this match is supposed to be germany's though :(

you effing racist piece of shit!

okay since it's a good day to update my blog & since i-wave isn't going crazy,
i'm gonna say this to you. COULD YOU JUST STOP BEING RACIST?!

hey c'mon lar...we malaysians have been staying together for the past decades. we learn from histories. yes it's true we might encounter something unpleasant every now and then, it's like bread and butter in our lives, that's just minority, there could have been a few troublemakers, and screw that government of ours, and that i could say it's all in us m'sians, we are being taught to hate each other when we were young, whether from peers, teachers or even family members. but at the end of the day, we as the younger generation of m'sians, you're the one to decide to whether to live in harmony or not.

i wouldn't deny, that i myself had encountered a few cases of racism in m'sia, but isn't that part of our lives in m'sia already? 
well malays doing it to chinese or indians, chinese doing it to malays and indians, indians doing it to malays, to chinese blah blah, it's like going around the circle!!!

i thank God i wasn't brought up this way. i've got the most open minded parents ever.
i thank God i wasn't born to be a pro-cina even though i came from a chinese school.
i thank God that my mum insists on sending me to a national school instead of further chinese high, so that i could mix with other races.


if people are doing things to you and you don't like it, don't do the same thing to them.
LET ALONE YOU'RE A LEADER!!!
do you know you just blurted out a very sensitive issue in front of your followers?
you're instilling a different mindset onto them. you're instilling hatred.
call yourself a christian.
no wonder people hates MF.
you just spoiled my day of listening to your speeches.


i mix around. my groupmates are mostly malays and one indian with few chinese.
i don't find it hard mixing with them. they are not biased against us as well. we even had outings.
i find that, we are a bunch of m'sians, it's nice to hang out with one another.
there might be language and cultural differences. but that's not the major issue to set us apart!!!!

i had enough of racisms here, the way how russians treated us.
but please as MALAYSIANS, can't we just stay close to one another?!

well i don't know whether i'm in a position to tell you about this or not, i'm just a nobody.
i wanted so much to actually tell you this in person though.

summer rain

went strolling deep in the forest and almost got lost in it. but thank God it didn't rain, not until i found my way out. how i did it? thanks to the sun for the direction.
feeling good and healthy for these few days as i get to go out a lot.
and so once again, i'm tanned. gonna get lotsa naggin' from my parents when i'm back in m'sia.
practicals are BORING. eff you MMC. don't blame me for being a bad doctor next time.

hello??!!

truly honored to be able to help out for this year's graduation ceremony. by far the best graduation ceremony. good job to all the 6th years who organized it. all the best in your future undertakings. gonna miss some of the seniors that i get to know. 

i had a great day but my jolly mood was spoiled when i got back to the hostel for seeing what i do not wish to see. is it coincidence or is it on purpose? that i don't know. but all i know is i am once again invisible!!! as though i don't exist at all!!! i seriously do not know how to react when i reached my room, whether to shout in frustrations, to cry, or to laugh out loud! ok, i admit i was jealous for what i saw. you never did that to me. dah lar i was so tired that day!!!
but really, besides jealousy, i'm fed up with this kind of treatment from so called friends too. 
all i know is, i don't see friends ever treated friends that way before. friends don't just part ways without a single word uttered. not at least a bye?? wth.
remember how you actually asked me to make friends with your friends even though you know i'm segan with them? and this, clearly shows i'm not a friend at all, because you do understand what's the meaning of being friends and who are they. i felt so unappreciated, from being just friend or used to be more than that. funny thing is, there's a funny way of communication between us, by only through my blog to know about my life and what i'm thinking. is this really the way of a friendship will be? 
talk about promises.

you blamed me for not being there when you needed me. now that you don't need me anymore and you have all the attention you want from another person, can i blame you back for hurting me this way? it's not just you alone. i did not say anything doesn't mean that i'm doing well. i understand you both are treating me this way for a reason but have you thought about how i feel? 
i had the urge to call you yesterday just to hear your voice, but i guess i don't need to anymore. may be i should stop crying for now. i guess it's not worth anymore. you've hurt me enough and i'm gonna stop you from doing that to me.


oh well, at the end of the day, i know i'm in no position to tell you what you should or should not do. so everything's up to you then.