Saturday, June 28, 2008

hating the grey clouds above my head

it's been almost a month since i posted my last entry. lots of thoughts in my mind but i'm just too lazy to go into my blog.

finally...2nd year had come to an end...like 2 weeks ago? yup and i'm still in moscow..almost everyone in my year had already gone back to m'sia except a few who are staying for the graduation ceremony.

it has been an exciting year for me..it's not a smooth year for me, lots of things happened around me...the best and the worst..and i've never been so emotional in my whole life. i exceled in my studies..which i've never been so proud of myself as i'm always an average student..i'm just so happy of my full 5s results and i hope i've done my parents proud. i'll have to work even harder for the coming sem. thanks for all the supports and inspiration, thanks for the good luck hugs that improves my luck( luck plays a big part in this stupid russian marking system), thanks for all the bitchiness and back stabbings and the unfairness i've witnessed that makes me wanted to strive even harder for every exams, and thank God just for everything especially all the avtomats and all the miracles. well i deserve the marks..if they can get a 5 from asking people for answers and depend solely on prayers..so do i. i worked hard for it.

on the other hand..my personal life was like a hell ride. got backstabbed not by 1, not 2 but 3 of them..from who? a close friend of mine, a roommate who looks so darn innocent on the outside and what? a guy who likes me?? gosh..i almost couldn't take it, at some point i feel like i'm such a fool for trusting them so much. but thanks for all the support my friends. i can never forget abt this..it's like a scar that stays forever.but it definitely makes me a stronger person now.
what's next? almost lose a buddy over some misunderstandings..sorry for all the contradictions that i've created. it's not worth at all to lose a friend over a useless ticket to a lame so-called annual dinner and it's so fake. thank God everything's fine now.
can't get enough sleep 'cos of this one roommate that is so capable of making noises..i wonder how she does that all the time. feel so depressed whenever i see her in the room..everytime i came back from class..the first thing i'll do after opening the door is to check whether she's in the room or not. i'll be so freaking happy if she's not in. well can't blame me, after a long day from class, all i want is peace in the room. hmm..blame me for taking her in...wrong decision,shouldn't be so soft hearted.
though all the bad things happened to me..i am still enjoying my life. i'm glad my life has to be so bumpy this year, which makes it so interesting and unforgetable. especially the euro trip part..except in the end when someone spoiled the whole trip..
the best part is after exams. stress free, i get to do some readings, watch movies, ooh of cos get to hang out with jo..go jalan jalan around moscow. can't think of anything to do? well i'll just lie on the bed and sleep the whole day. it's piggy i know haha.

there's a lil' bit different this year for me..for the past two years..all i'm waiting for is to go back m'sia asap after a whole year of battle with tons of tests and exams and not forgetting my whole bunch of useless n bitchy groupmates but this year..i'm having mixed fillings..i just can't bear to leave moscow as i know that everything will be different when i'm back in this cold harsh land.
hmm...guess now i kinda understand why vivien looked so emo the day before she went back to m'sia.

there's one thing which i'm really looking forward to is joining my new groupmates for this coming sem...heehee ;)